No Fear of Losing...

I was talking to HL on MSN today.

We were talking about how a March to be mom had given birth to a 1.3kg baby and how that the mom had to suffer without epidural becos of the fear of harming the too soon to come baby and that air con has to be off so that the tempreture of the baby will not drop too much after deliver... where all should be done congratulating the mom for her safe delivery despite the dram and trauma, all I can say is I am so scared that I actually feel like puking....

Honestly I hate to be pregnant. I hate this vulnerability... this possible of losing what is to come and having no control and yet whole world congratulating u all the way through.... I totally went into a state of wreck when I realised I am to deliver Maoster at week 35 0 days where I started seeing blood. With my miscarriage of my 2nd baby, it only makes my fear and phobia of being pregnant even larger and bigger to the point of puking!

If we have no fear of losing, then we will not be fearful. That's what HL said ( bravely after her first miscarriage and now her last leg of the race with her baby boy to be due in mid march)... NO FEAR OF LOSING.... As much as I have fully got over my miscarriage I really still have that lingering fear of going through it again... and what if a stillborn, what if its unhealthy... and so though there's a Jayla 2009 project, I am so not willing to embark on it....

And I realised it applies to many facets of life....

If we have no fear of losing and understanding that all is in God's hands and permission, we shouldn't be too stressed about the downturn in economy as our Father in Heaven will provide abundently... If we have no fear of losing, we will not be too wary about how our children are doing in school and in achieving academics, if we have no fear of losing, we will be better neighbour, a better friend, a better sibling, a better colleague....

I hope that I will lead a "no fear of losing" life because I know my provider is God and that my life and all is existence belongs to God. It is a positive outlook of life and not one of "resigned to fate" attitude... its a journey with God of Hope, Faith and Love...

The road ahead is long..... let us all pray....