Single-minded

In the name of defending the nation's highest security, Aung has been called to answer this highest calling.
For 3 weeks, he has to be at the army's beck and call - it used to be only beck's call. He is attached to the weirdest unit whereby he only gets to come back home say, noon or evening of Saturdays.

I wonder what got into me when I told my mom that I would move back home for 3 weeks in the name of allowing Maoster to sleep in during the hols, me not needing to beat the traffic in the wee morning and to spend some time with my mother - some mother/daughter bonding.

Gosh, this is week 2 and I am miserable. My mother treats me like a 5 year old, asking me everything that has happened in the day, complain to me about every single thing and basically open her world that seems to run like 7-eleven. I don't mean to sound like a ^&^&^%^$ daughter but over the years, I realised there is something rather precious termed "space" that does not exist back at home.

I suddenly started thinking of how life would be if I were a widow. Do I have to move back home? Do I have to read all of Maoster's bed time stories? Do I need to bring Maoster to his errands and classes and roam endless for 2 hours till he is done. What about vacations? Where do I bring Maoster alone? You mean the milk is out? You mean we need to renew the car's insurance package? My turn again to wake up to pee my boy every single night or he will wet the bed. The to do list of a widow. Yucks!

Initially I found my new found "alone" to be an adventure. I feel rather great, like a grown up having to do things on my own. Taking responsibilities and taking care of the weak. I realized such superheroes duties are not fun on a daily basis.

Thoughts then went to friends whose husbands travel frequently. Thoughts went to friends whose husbands are unwell and couldn't be the pillar of support. Thoughts went to friends whose husbands are deceased. How does these women survive? I feel like a loser. It's only 3 weeks and I feel miserable. I feel that tsunami has hit my shores. I don't think I can be "single-minded" any longer. Am the only one that feels this way? You leh?