Today is the last day of 2011.
I have more than once told people around me that I wished this year would go by quicker. No, I'll give this year a missed even. However, if I know that I am created in the image of my God that in His hands that all things He had created is good and beautiful, then this year 2011 (my miserable year) that sat on His laps, must be good and beautiful, perhaps not that I could see now but in His time.
As how it should be and I must always remember, is to Give thanks for this year. I thank God for a wonderful family - a loving and supportive Aung that braved the storms and basked in the sunshine with me. I thank God for the gift of Maoster that this year as he turns 5, he continues to be a source of joy and happiness and inspiration. I thank God for the strong community in church that I serve along, a group of brethren that truly became family not by our mouth we proclaimed to be but bonded in our hearts that we know the genuine love, care and support that flows so generously from each one. I cannot thank God enough for these people in my life. I thank God for the work that he has placed me to be in - I found passion in teaching and love in abundance from the students. I know that I may not be very happy with management or how sometimes I feel discouraged that teaching is not part of my KPI ( that is another interesting topic that I do not want to discuss further), but the exchange of lives, trust and knowledge and building bridges and homes in someone's heart is something that I thank God for, being in such priviledge, in this job I have come to do and love. In this job I found colleagues-turned friends that made my job such a pleasurable one.
I thank God for friends, the "bestest" of them all to the ones that we seldom meet (but regularly on FB and blogs). The bible records of so many incidents where a friend is well loved and important and so I thank God for all of you.
And as how it goes, with thanksgiving - I seek forgiveness. For the trespasses that I have done, for the words that I may have said that caused hurt, for the things that I should have done but have not done, for the kindness that I didn't display, the tenderness that I omitted and forgive me if I wasn't there for you. Forgive all my selfish and jealous thoughts and how sometimes my heart could be so small and tiny. Forgive me if I had said I would stay in touch and didn't or if I said I'll pray for you but I've forgotten. Forgive me if I have placed my needs above others and that I haven't cared for the poor, the widowed, the orphan, the cold and the hungry.
This year I experienced one miscarriage and one ectopic pregnancy. Both crushed me to the depth of misery and pain. With it, I cancelled two holiday trips and I was filled with anger and frustrations namely with God and myself. I felt I haven't deserve it all, I was serving, I was loving and I was good.
God spoke to me. He told me to be patient. He lets me see that it is not through my works and most important that He is in control. He feels my pain and he weeps with me. That I should love not the gifts but the giver of gifts. Isn't He good enough for me? Isn't He enough for me? Isn't he the sole purpose of my living and my purpose is in Him. I do not subscribe to a name it -claim it theology and God is not a cosmic vending machine. Jesus suffered when he came on earth and he was spat, mocked and crucified but there was meaning in his suffering and he said on the eve of his crucification ," Father , if it is your will, take this cup away from me; nevertheless not my will but yours, be done." This is a beautiful reminder that I shall not seek my will but His will that although in my life, I may face trials and tribulations and that I may feel sad and pain and walk through the valley of death but my Lord whom my faith is on, will lead me through. I need to trust and obey and know that my tomorrows are in His hands. I am in good hands.
A close friend of mine, wrote me a card on Christmas Day. It ended with Have faith, be brave. How apt and this describes my outlook for 2012. Faith in our Lord that he is good in all circumstances, in all seasons and bravery, oh how badly I needed it - courage to walk this journey on earth.
For 2012, I pray that the Lord continues to work in my life and those that I love. That everyday I will demonstrate the obedience, the faith, the joy, the love for our Lord and be a better person.
And, if I loses faith and bravery...... please hold my hands and pray with me.
I can't wait for 2012 because I know my Lord is with me and so are you. Have a great year ahead, eat well, sleep well, live well, love well. See you all in 2012.
I have more than once told people around me that I wished this year would go by quicker. No, I'll give this year a missed even. However, if I know that I am created in the image of my God that in His hands that all things He had created is good and beautiful, then this year 2011 (my miserable year) that sat on His laps, must be good and beautiful, perhaps not that I could see now but in His time.
As how it should be and I must always remember, is to Give thanks for this year. I thank God for a wonderful family - a loving and supportive Aung that braved the storms and basked in the sunshine with me. I thank God for the gift of Maoster that this year as he turns 5, he continues to be a source of joy and happiness and inspiration. I thank God for the strong community in church that I serve along, a group of brethren that truly became family not by our mouth we proclaimed to be but bonded in our hearts that we know the genuine love, care and support that flows so generously from each one. I cannot thank God enough for these people in my life. I thank God for the work that he has placed me to be in - I found passion in teaching and love in abundance from the students. I know that I may not be very happy with management or how sometimes I feel discouraged that teaching is not part of my KPI ( that is another interesting topic that I do not want to discuss further), but the exchange of lives, trust and knowledge and building bridges and homes in someone's heart is something that I thank God for, being in such priviledge, in this job I have come to do and love. In this job I found colleagues-turned friends that made my job such a pleasurable one.
I thank God for friends, the "bestest" of them all to the ones that we seldom meet (but regularly on FB and blogs). The bible records of so many incidents where a friend is well loved and important and so I thank God for all of you.
And as how it goes, with thanksgiving - I seek forgiveness. For the trespasses that I have done, for the words that I may have said that caused hurt, for the things that I should have done but have not done, for the kindness that I didn't display, the tenderness that I omitted and forgive me if I wasn't there for you. Forgive all my selfish and jealous thoughts and how sometimes my heart could be so small and tiny. Forgive me if I had said I would stay in touch and didn't or if I said I'll pray for you but I've forgotten. Forgive me if I have placed my needs above others and that I haven't cared for the poor, the widowed, the orphan, the cold and the hungry.
This year I experienced one miscarriage and one ectopic pregnancy. Both crushed me to the depth of misery and pain. With it, I cancelled two holiday trips and I was filled with anger and frustrations namely with God and myself. I felt I haven't deserve it all, I was serving, I was loving and I was good.
God spoke to me. He told me to be patient. He lets me see that it is not through my works and most important that He is in control. He feels my pain and he weeps with me. That I should love not the gifts but the giver of gifts. Isn't He good enough for me? Isn't He enough for me? Isn't he the sole purpose of my living and my purpose is in Him. I do not subscribe to a name it -claim it theology and God is not a cosmic vending machine. Jesus suffered when he came on earth and he was spat, mocked and crucified but there was meaning in his suffering and he said on the eve of his crucification ," Father , if it is your will, take this cup away from me; nevertheless not my will but yours, be done." This is a beautiful reminder that I shall not seek my will but His will that although in my life, I may face trials and tribulations and that I may feel sad and pain and walk through the valley of death but my Lord whom my faith is on, will lead me through. I need to trust and obey and know that my tomorrows are in His hands. I am in good hands.
A close friend of mine, wrote me a card on Christmas Day. It ended with Have faith, be brave. How apt and this describes my outlook for 2012. Faith in our Lord that he is good in all circumstances, in all seasons and bravery, oh how badly I needed it - courage to walk this journey on earth.
For 2012, I pray that the Lord continues to work in my life and those that I love. That everyday I will demonstrate the obedience, the faith, the joy, the love for our Lord and be a better person.
And, if I loses faith and bravery...... please hold my hands and pray with me.
I can't wait for 2012 because I know my Lord is with me and so are you. Have a great year ahead, eat well, sleep well, live well, love well. See you all in 2012.
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