Our Loss

It was heartbreaking for us to learn that our baby at 12 weeks old was not at the right size and the heartbeat has ceased. We found out at our scheduled normal gynae appointment last night.
It was painful emotionally to see for the last time the ultra scan picture of that little adorable foetus curled up there but lifeless as the doppler machine confirmed it again that the heartbeat was gone.
The D & C was performed and the baby is gone.
There are many questions that I have in my mind. Many answers that I try to search for.
There are times where I feel that I am strong and times where I crumble and fall and cry like never before.
There were moments where Aung and I joke about why it happened in the funniest notion only to try to make each other at ease and that it is ok and no one's fault.
I know God do things for a reason. I know that God controls the living and the dead. I know that as a christian and as a child of God, I will trust and obey and understand that in all things God will not leave me. Suddenly I fear what this God can do. The power of this God to take back what he has given, his authorities and his unfathomable ways. I feel like shivering under my blanket, trying to hide away from Him.

As I stayed in bed last night, waiting for dawn to break and calming myself for the D & C for tomorrow. I looked at Maoster fast asleep beside me and I am so frightened. I prayed so hard that God will not take Maoster away from me. It was really tough to lose a child. I hope i don't have to experience it twice in my lifetime.

HOME BREAK ( Adapted from Prisons Break)

Yes. He holds the latest keyless system.

Unlike our Nissan car that requires any device to activate the door,

All Maoster needs to do is to perform his acrobatic act.

Downside.

Oh gosh, if you cannot find Maoster in the house.

He might already be somewhere downstairs on his own.

But that I hope will never happen. I hope. :P

Gone

My 26th Mcdonalds party from Gee!
Yes, my best pal is gone.
She left for Canada this morning and left me in tears.
I think she left in a puddle of tears too.
Maybe it was a good thing we didn't see each other off this morning. The airport security might have alerted the authorities for the arrest of 2 bawling woman flooding their terminal.
I can't quite sleep the whole of last night.
I guess there will be a great amount of adjustments to do.
Sigh, I will be best-friend less for a whole year!!!
I told Aung that he won't understand cos he doesn't have a best friend.
He told me Elvis is his best friend. Oh well, see how pathetic my aung is.
Come back soon Gee! I need my maid, my ATM machine, my babysitter, my Kai zi, my driver!!!

Dr Oetker

I've been attended by Dr Oetker lately.
Gosh each time I am satisfied to the max.
The only problem is that I am going to turn into a whale by having sessions with Dr Oetker too often.
Yesterday it was the funghi.
Today it will be the mozzarella perhaps.
And last week, Jimmy made the vegetable one which was superb.
I am hunting down the Pomodori, Speciale, Generosa but I haven't had much luck. I found the spinach one but ermmm spinach leh, so i put it back. Please tell me if you find them. Try them and get hooked. You won't bother dialing the pizza hut or canandian pizza hotline anymore. Seriously, they are good. A pity Gee doesn't like pizza cos they are product of Canada!!!
I LOVE DR OETKER!

Funny People In My house

Okay, I am normally termed as funny. Oh, Becky's funny.

Hey, I am not the only funny people around okay.

I realised alot of people in my family are funny. At least they made me laugh.



MOTHER IN LAW

She tops the list this weekend when she shouted a prayer in the middle of the table tennis game on Sunday.

While we were watching the match and our attempt to Gold in Olympics ( Silver is just as good), suddenly my MIL prayed aloud :" Jesus, Let Singapore win the gold medal!"

I almost choked while trying to keep a straight face - I mean, i'm not sure if humour is in her dictionary.



COUSIN- IN LAW

is getting married in september so I heard. That's next month. that's news cos before that I've not heard of anything. The instructions given by the bride to be or the family was this: Okay the wedding is next month on sept and you guys can come if you are free.

I mean, that's the most casual invitation I've got from a relative and actually it reads more like, I have to inform you but please don't come. Aung was laughing away saying that maybe they called just in case we happened to be at Sentosa at that time. It's funny how communication is the least tool used in Aung's family or relatives.

Irwin if you are reading this, PLEASE make sure you invite me to your wedding hor and want us to witness such a milestone in your life with your extended family. Hee.

I mean Maoster's also trying to be funny wearing that absolutely ermmm ugly army hat...

OLYMPIC GIRL SEEN BUT NOT HEARD

was the title over at CNN when I read the net news.
I was horrified to hear that the opening song was "performed" by a girl who was chosen to lip sync the song while the real singer also a young girl performed background.
The only reason given was that the performer was cute, pretty and animated and full of feelings when "posing" for the song while the real singer is undergoing some teeth structuring (braces maybe) and doesn't seem too suitable to be on stage to face the world.
I felt really sadden by China's decision on that. Indeed, the performer looked way cuter than the real singer but is that reason enough?
In this world where we are trying to educate our younger generations and to remind ourselves that we need to look beyond the appearance and appreciate a person for who he or she is. Each created uniquely to reflect the Glory of God - some one high up there decided that for a higher calling, all the things we believe and fight for is gone. The decision made was based on the fact that the receiving audience like ourselves would prefer the cuter girl. We really need to reflect as well.
How many times I've heard parents telling their kid to fight for what they believe. To know that they are special, unique and wanted and that self eesteem and confidence goes a long way in life. How about honesty and understanding that not all of us are perfect in all ways but talented in other aspects? Isn't variety, the spices of life?
I wonder how I would feel if I were the less cute girl with talent but cannot be seen.
I wonder how I would feel if Maoster would be hidden by the world just becos he's deemed not good enough.
I wonder how the cute girl feels now that she's been exposed - I dun think it's her fault so she's going to be so confused.
I wonder how I am going to tell my son in the future if he ever sees the repeat telecast that the world sometimes can be so distorted.
I think very soon Maoster would know that the world that lies beyond the safe arms of his parents is not how he might expect and that there are going to be struggles in life whereby being good and right just doesn't seem to make sense in some circumstances. It is when such circumstances arised, I hope that he will take a moment to understand the value of life and stand firm for the Glory of God even if it goes against what the world believes.
I'll pray for you Maoster.

In it Together

To both men in the family

Thank You.

Beating the Blues Best Remedy

Silly Faces

Funny Coos

Strange Demands

Kisses with loud plucks

You make me laugh Maoster, all the time!

SOBA!

LONG LIVE THE DOWAGER!

I received the following e-mail from my brother today.
It contains photos of the birthday celebration that we had when my mom celebrated being 58th this year on 22 July.
Off the record, among the kids we termed her the DOWAGER.
So that when we need to pass secrets to one another or simply complaining about her by talking in the most chim English we can think of so that she wouldn't understand (over the years she has picked up some general simple basic english from her grandkids - she would know mom means her if we had a conversation with that - so she's dowager, mostly. When she makes us piss, she's termed as YOUR DOWAGER AH when we talk about among ourselves. Anyway, as we wish for our mom as ever we had previous years - LONG LIVE THE DOWAGER!

That's the gang - without my sister's family back in Vietnam.

And of cos, shots with her favourite people on earth- grandkids

Maoster + Cousin Wen but obviously drinking water off the bowl was more fun to Mao.