Writer. Dreamer. Child of God.

I am not talking about myself.

With the Mylo-domination going around the Aung family, I think it is only right not to forget that I have a brilliant and endearing 8 year old to be, who is growing up rather nicely.

WRITER:

NEIGHBOURHOOD WALK EXPERIENCE

Last Tuesday, we were really excited. Do you know why? It (is)was because we were going for a neighborhood walk! We were dismissed for a while, then we waited outside the canteen. I was so excited!
I was surprised that when we were told to walk, we saw many things. But there were so many things that I could not list because I would waste paper. So as I was saying, we walked and walked till I felt that my legs were dropping off! I was so thirsty, that I would drink toilet water! We stopped by post box and I got really excited! After we mailed our letters, I was so tired .(more tired than the word dropping legs). I wanted to go back to school, but my wish was not granted.
Is it? Yes! Mdm Nora said that we were going back to school! So, hope was not lost after all. When we reached school, I felt dehydrated! When I went to the canteen, the first thing I did was to buy a drink. How refreshing!
I hope you will not go for a neighborhood walk unless you are a sports person because you will walk and feel dehydrated just like me. Goodbye, for now.

THE BRAINLESS BIRD

Watch out for it. Waiting for teacher's marking.

JOURNAL OF MAO

When mom steals it.

DREAMER

Maoster has great imaginations. He dreams of funny tales and the great future. The other day, he came back from visiting one of his favourite doctors and pondered over the possibility of being a doctor. I asked him if he really wanted to be one, he probably needs a medicine degree. He asked me IF I want him to be a doctor. He said," I'll do it mom, if you really want me to." I believed him when he said that and I immersed in that magical moment of "mom-son"world for I know I would lose more of such when he grows up slowly and also quickly.

Sometimes he would even ask where he should go as his educational path develops - to the JC or Poly. I know this sounds really weird for a boy who have not even gone through PSLE (isn't it a bit too soon to even contemplate the options?) but my special boy could even tell me the difference - Poly courses are modular basis, meaning that there is no ONE major exam but you are tested throughout the years. JC, however need you to pass this MAJOR exam so it seems more stressful. Chances of going to the university seemed higher with the JC path but with poly, you really need to be top students.
He probably talked to someone. Not me. He comes to me only for food, fun and some cuddles.


Child of God.

It took me years and am still learning about God's soverignity over my desires. Aung's mom fell and hurt real bad on the eye and was sent to the hospital A&E department for doctor's examination and a CT scan. While we were at home, I gather Maoster and ask him to lead the prayer for grandma. This was his prayer (from what I remember of),

" God, we know you care for us. We know you care for Nai Nai (Grandm). Nai Nai fell and had a really really really really really bad bruise. She is now going to have a scan and I hope that there will not be any blood inside her head. If, really, after the scan, there is blood, we will still love you. But, I will grieve for Nai Nai."

I think it is a beautiful, mature prayer. In God's timing, in God's hands. We just commit and trust that God knows what is the best. This is not a "resigned" prayer, but one of great faith and understanding that our God who sees the beginning and the end have designed the best plans for us.

Letting his finger decide his ice-cream flavour. I knew he cheated.

I really wonder how my first-born will turn out in the future. I unveil it with fear, anticipation and excitement. I guess, I probably need lots of prayers and patience and to always remind myself that he belongs to God and that my job is to make sure I return to God what he had given me in good condition!


 

Becoming four... our thanksgiving journey

 

 

We cannot be thankful enough and we have not been happier.

What are you WAITING for?

I learned about a friend's pregnancy after a very very long time of waiting. Finally she is pregnant. Although I am not very close to her, I feel very happy and glad for her because what she has waited for, is here. As if she knows what I was feeling, when I casually gave her a hug and said my congratulations, she whispered to me in a low voice and said," Becky... I have been waiting for so so so so long already."

I have another friend who is waiting for the right man. She has been single for the longest man. No luck though although she is a a very pretty girl. Just never crossed path with the special someone that could share the future with her. The void is real. What is wrong? I think this question probably flashed in her mind more than once.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting is tough. Especially if it is for something that is close to your heart. Something that you wanted so badly for.

I have another friend who is waiting for the restoration of her marriage. Things seem to be bad in some days and better in other days but we all know we are waiting for the best days. The best days of their marriage life to come. Where there are no more heartaches, no more fear and no more insecurities.

I think we all wait for something. It could be something big or small. It could be something important or something casual.

It could be like waiting for your turn at the supermarket for payment. Darn we hate long queues!
It could be waiting for the flight for your holiday.
It could be waiting for the end of your exams.
It could be waiting for a medical report.
It could be waiting for the next meal.
It could be waiting for an important call.
It could be waiting for a parking lot.
It could be waiting for the end of the day.
It could be waiting for the chance to shine.
It could be waiting for the chance to be forgiven.
It coudl be waiting for the rain, the sun or even the rainbow to come.


We all wait. Sometimes waiting makes us into a monster. We become impatient, frustrated, bitter and angry. But, somethimes waiting promises us something sweet in return. More importantly, waiting must make us a better person or else the time we spent in waiting has gone to absolute waste.

We all wait. But we may not all get what we want in the end. But, it is still important to wait.

So what do we do when we wait? We pray. We pray that God is with us during our wait. We pray that no matter what is to come, whether we get what we want or not, we pray that God changes our heart and mind and gives us a positive attitude towards ourselves and the life we live. We pray that we know that what we are waiting for may not be what is best for us. We pray that God's peace and joy and love continues to surround us. And then we give thanks. Give thanks for the things we have and count our blessings.

More so  importantly, we wait for our Lord's return. We know that in all our waiting in this life, something better and eternal is there for us. And therefore in all our circumstances, there is hope. And joy. And amist our frustrations, tears, emptiness and possible alienations there is love.

Psalms 39:7 And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope [is] in thee.

And, I pray that in all your waiting, that you must wait for our God. He will turn up, that's one waiting we know that will come true.

 

Because turning 7 is a blessing itself...

Maoster turned 7 years old yesterday.

This year I was specially reminded of the grace and mercy that was upon us during Maoster's delivery 7 years ago. Many times, as we celebrate Mylo's arrival after a good 6 years of "incompetency and frustrations", this year, I sorta of reflected that Myles' birth was also rather "dramatic".

Maoster was always a small baby. Each time we go to the gynae, there would be extreme remarks - mummy's weight gain is remarkable whereas Maoster is barely struggling to meet the lower percentile.

Then, there was the "show' at exactly 35 weeks. I remembered clearly that I had a business lunch and then I had to go to the hospital. In fear. In panic. I was rushed to the labour ward and all I could do was to tell the nurses that," I AM NOT READY FOR DELIVERY. MY BABY IS TOO SMALL."  The gynae came, he wasn't really delighted. He said we will try our best to keep the baby inside the tummy because he may be too small in terms of weight and his lungs are not ready.

I stayed an awful night over at the observation ward. It was nasty. I hated that place. That place had too much crying for my liking. Women were admitted for all the reasons that I had never ONCE thought of - water bags bursting or leaking where their babies  are not ready for delivery. It means they may lose their babies as I lay there quietly in my bed. I thought I had a problem, but at least my baby is most probably going to make it - just whether or not he would be in NICU or something like that. Not ideal but would make it. Already I was quite a wreck, I really wouldn't want to be in their shoes. I was given jabs to enlarged the baby's lungs in case I had to deliver like now or tomorrow.

After a day, I was "released", and after a week, there was really no way I could stop the birth. I was strangely "induced". Many people prayed alongside us. The prayers were specific: A healthy baby that could breath and eat on his own, weighing at least 2kg (that were the non- NICU requirements). Our last weigh for the baby a day before was 1.9kg or less.

Maoster was born, 20th October 2006 weighing 2.6kg. Healthy with loads of hair! A charmer till today.

And.

God's love and mercy fills my heart and I am thankful and grateful that God gave us what we prayed for when He need not.

                                                          Myles Aung. 20 October 2006.

 

                                                                   His last day of being six.

Our prayers for Maoster is that he grows up fearing and loving our Father and know that indeed God's love is sufficient for all our needs all our days on earth.

 

Happy Birthday, Babycake. We love you so much.

TOP MAN TIME.

Our first.

As a family.

Animal devotion book was used.

Adventure bible was deployed.

Everything was going smoothly.

It was about giving thanks for your family.

We tell each other why we like each other.

Maoster said Aung is patient and helpful.
Moster said Mom is funny and also helpful.
Mom said Aung is patient and kind.
Mom said Maoster is kind and a great brother.
Dad said I LOVE YOU MAO MAO AND MUMMY. He sorta didn't follow the rules but it's fine.

Then.........our conversations turned to prayers.

I told Maoster that God communicates to us through prayers. He asked what does that mean - COMMUNICATION.

I said it's God talking or speaking to us.

Maoster's eyes grew bigger. He said, " I prayed for Mylo. That he will be okay. But GOD never REPLIES. But Mylo turns out okay. But I never hear HIM talk. Like telephone talk."

Aung was excited. He answered like he was the only boy in class that knew the answer.....

"Oh, God only talk to very few special people. Like ..... Moses you know?"

Maoster turned quiet.... his eyes turned red....... he begin to tear quietly....... and muttered...." I AM NOT SPECIAL TO GOD....."

And that's how the cookie crumbled.

Aung quickly explained what he meant - in the old testament.. bleah bleah bleah.... it was hilarious to me.... I tried not to laugh cos Aung was in a panic..... like oh man, I have not conveyed the words of God correctly....like an ill-trained shepherd trying to care for the lamb.

I think I will always remember our first family devotion time.

He Remembers

 In the morning where my troubled heart ached

The sun couldn’t shine and the warmth was cold and almost cutting.

Many came, many spoke and their words were kind

But then the tears were real and they stayed for too long

I came to his throne and I said, “Oh, Lord, please if you could, please if you knew, please take me along.

Take me to your heart where I could belong, where all pain and all fears and my despair could be gone.

Gently and patiently my keeper sat, by my side he remained and quietly these words He said:

“I remember your every need

 I remember your every plea

 I remember your every sob

 I remember even though you may already forgot.”

Such sweet tender love the Lord revealed

Such grace and generosity the Lord had bestowed

Such mercy and goodness the Lord for me

I will walk with my Lord till the sun sets for me.

“I remember your every need

 I remember your every plea

 I remember your every sob

 I remember even though you may already forgot.”

Harvesting the crop

Callum Aung arrived. Not now but on 11th of December 2012. My 2nd child. A new son.

His arrival meant a few things:

1. I can shut off many mouths that asked, " When is the next one coming?"
2. I now have to divide my time and resources and food by 4.
3. My darling oven can now officially retire after so many half-baked turnouts these few years. Sex is no longer for pro-creation  ha ha ha... but what sex now with a newborn?

And the list goes on.... a new child meant many things but to me, above all, it meant that my crop that God promises had been harvested.

In the last ectopic pregnancy- I almost swore that this would be the last attempt, I had a dream - not sure if you call that dream...... or more of floating off..... right after my surgery. The word of God came to me and ask me to read James chapter 5 verse 7. When I woke up from my sleep. I was thinking to myself, is this really the word of God that is speaking to me. What if the joke was there is no James chapter 5 verse 7...... I quickly took out my iphone and I googled. And there it was.


The verse reads:
 Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient over it until it receives the early and the late rain.

I pondered over the above verse and frankly, I was more of "Sarah" and doubted that God was seriously asking me to give it another shot and be patient? Is this what He was trying to tell me? I kept this to myself and a few close people. After all, a false prophet will be stoned to death!

This verse gave me somewhat a consolation that I have to be patient. The best is yet to come. The precious fruit needed the right season and the Lord will deliver it and I just have to wait. Hope for the best and wait. Waiting is not mother's nature, at least not this mother.

Less than a year later, I became pregnant. And... things just progressed. The heartbeat was detected. The growth was good. The blood works looks fine..... and week 38 came and my gynae checked me and said, you know your cervix is like errmmmmm a ripe papaya ( a fruit!) and it is soft now and is ready.

I harvested the crop with a heart full of thanksgiving. I pray that my newborn will have a heart full of His love and obedience of Him. A heart that seeks His face and his will.

My fruit! I must say, this is a darn- good looking plumpy fruit! The Aungs finally became 4.

Have faith, Be brave

Today is the last day of 2011.
I have more than once told people around me that I wished this year would go by quicker. No, I'll give this year a missed even. However, if I know that I am created in the image of my God that in His hands that all things He had created is good and beautiful, then this year 2011 (my miserable year) that sat on His laps, must be good and beautiful, perhaps not that I could see now but in His time.
As how it should be and I must always remember, is to Give thanks for this year. I thank God for a wonderful family - a loving and supportive Aung that braved the storms and basked in the sunshine with me. I thank God for the gift of Maoster that this year as he turns 5, he continues to be a source of joy and happiness and inspiration. I thank God for the strong community in church that I serve along, a group of brethren that truly became family not by our mouth we proclaimed to be but bonded in our hearts that we know the genuine love, care and support that flows so generously from each one. I cannot thank God enough for these people in my life. I thank God for the work that he has placed me to be in - I found passion in teaching and love in abundance from the students. I know that I may not be very happy with management or how sometimes I feel discouraged that teaching is not part of my KPI ( that is another interesting topic that I do not want to discuss further), but the exchange of lives, trust and knowledge and building bridges and homes in someone's heart is something that I thank God for, being in such priviledge, in this job I have come to do and love. In this job I found colleagues-turned friends that made my job such a pleasurable one.
I thank God for friends, the "bestest" of them all to the ones that we seldom meet (but regularly on FB and blogs). The bible records of so many incidents where a friend is well loved and important and so I thank God for all of you.
And as how it goes, with thanksgiving - I seek forgiveness. For the trespasses that I have done, for the words that I may have said that caused hurt, for the things that I should have done but have not done, for the kindness that I didn't display, the tenderness that I omitted and forgive me if I wasn't there for you. Forgive all my selfish and jealous thoughts and how sometimes my heart could be so small and tiny. Forgive me if I had said I would stay in touch and didn't or if I said I'll pray for you but I've forgotten. Forgive me if I have placed my needs above others and that I haven't cared for the poor, the widowed, the orphan, the cold and the hungry.

This year I experienced one miscarriage and one ectopic pregnancy. Both crushed me to the depth of misery and pain. With it, I cancelled two holiday trips and I was filled with anger and frustrations namely with God and myself. I felt I haven't deserve it all, I was serving, I was loving and I was good.
God spoke to me. He told me to be patient. He lets me see that it is not through my works and most important that He is in control. He feels my pain and he weeps with me. That I should love not the gifts but the giver of gifts. Isn't He good enough for me? Isn't He enough for me? Isn't he the sole purpose of my living and my purpose is in Him. I do not subscribe to a name it -claim it theology and God is not a cosmic vending machine. Jesus suffered when he came on earth and he was spat, mocked and crucified but there was meaning in his suffering and he said on the eve of his crucification ," Father , if it is your will, take this cup away from me; nevertheless not my will but yours, be done." This is a beautiful reminder that I shall not seek my will but His will that although in my life, I may face trials and tribulations and that I may feel sad and pain and walk through the valley of death but my Lord whom my faith is on, will lead me through. I need to trust and obey and know that my tomorrows are in His hands. I am in good hands.

A close friend of mine, wrote me a card on Christmas Day. It ended with Have faith, be brave. How apt and this describes my outlook for 2012. Faith in our Lord that he is good in all circumstances, in all seasons and bravery, oh how badly I needed it - courage to walk this journey on earth.
For 2012, I pray that the Lord continues to work in my life and those that I love. That everyday I will demonstrate the obedience, the faith, the joy, the love for our Lord and be a better person.

And, if I loses faith and bravery...... please hold my hands and pray with me.

I can't wait for 2012 because I know my Lord is with me and so are you. Have a great year ahead, eat well, sleep well, live well, love well. See you all in 2012.

Beautiful Boracay

White fine sand. Clear blue sea. White fluffy clouds. Deep blue sky.
It seems like this is paradise on earth. I believe that the new world would be even more glorious than this. Beautiful Boracay! Our God is a wonderful painter and a romantic at heart. He is a musician that orchestrated every note that comes with the crashing waves. I am in deeply, madly, insanely in love.

What's your cross?

Last Sunday during Church service, Maoster asked me why the cross in church is a t. I was rather puzzled why he asked me. I told him that all crosses are t. I even went an extra mile to explain to him about how it was made with 2 planks of wood and how Jesus sacrificed himself. Upon listening to my explanation, I thought that he would have seen the light and think of his mother as a student on the Dean's list. Alas,he looked more perplexed.




He pressed on, and said, " but Mummy, the cross in my school is a X. I was really scratching my head, as his school was also a church and I got really confused. I asked him if he was sure, he said," Yes, Mummy, really, in Bethesda, my school, the cross is a X.



During times like this, when all things fail, Aung has the solution. I mean, Mister know it all solved the mystery. He asked his son, if he meant, in his homework. A cross is an X. And, of cos, everything falls into place. World peace.

I was highly amused (as always) by the things that goes in my son's mind. It's amazing the things he thinks and the things he say.

Few days later, as I recall this incident, I am somewhat reminded of the "cross story". I mean, what comes to your mind, when we say, what is a cross?

The love of the cross, the mercy of the cross, the grace of the cross.
The cross that crosses out all the cross in our lives.

A song for the winter season

"Blessings"

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

To love no matter what happens

The news that I have getting around me these few days made my heart burdened for a long time. I questioned about life and where it was leading to. I didn't question the existence of God but I questioned His ways and plans. I wept, I prayed, I resigned, I submitted. It was multiple process of complex feelings going in different stages at different point of time.

There was a diagnosis of a high risk pregnancy of a dear friend which my heart ached. I am only human and I couldn't understand nor see the beauty of God's plan. I celebrated myself for finally getting a bun in my oven only that God decided to terminate the pregnancy recently before I turned 33. (BTW, family members are not informed so please zip) There was a tsunami that shook Japan and then there was a critical cancer that loomed one of our brethren.

All the events affected me and burdened me. I asked God why? I hear nothing. I asked God why? I could only hear echos of my anguish and my defiance of God. I asked God and then I stopped asking. I was pissed and broken.

And then I shut myself down and like a child, I said, WHATEVER!

Then seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. I soaked into a timeless state of nothing.


Then, strangely, I realised if I turned away from God, I am indeed nothing - I have nothing and I meant nothing. God is God and no matter what happens, He is still God. My life is in his hands and my purpose in His grace. I am reminded to give thanks in all circumstances even though I can't. And this song came to me：

聖靈啊，求你來，
我軟弱你明白，
我無言你歎息，
親自為我代求；
你鑒察我的心，
使我走在屬神旨意，
你醫治我的靈，
使我生命再次絢麗。

啊，我心不住讚美，
啊，我靈不住稱謝，
一宿雖有哭泣，早晨必歡呼，
主的恩典是一生之久；

啊，我心不住讚美，
啊，我靈不住稱謝，
一宿雖有哭泣，早晨必歡呼，

主的恩典乃是一生之久。

And I was freed. I am reminded once again God loves me although sometimes I do not know why some things happened. My life may not be smooth sailing and fair, but the grace and blessings of my Lord will last me a life time. My God and me. Till the end of time. Me and my God.

All over the place and all under the sun

I realised that I haven't blogged for a while. This only shows that I have been trying to save the world and couldn't take time off.

I would have told you about the wonderful Perth trip I took and how those days are numbered and that I can now rely on photographs and memories to keep me afloat at work and my hectic lifestyle. Having friends around the globe doesn't help me to keep my feet rooted and my mind thinking, is the grass greener at the other end ( or the cows cheaper on the other side of the field). I told Gee that perhaps I should ask God for a chance to be outstation abroad for a few years and she says of course you could and then being the "short-attention" span me, I prayed for a few days and I called it quit.

Talking about prayers, I am really in dilemma here. I mean, I am told that I have to pray fervently for things I really care about or want. But I really can't. I can't just keep focus. I really can't do it EVERYDAY until I get it. I get bored, I get impatient and most importantly, I forget to pray about it. Strange but true, I really need some prayer therapy - intensive prayer course.

Maoster is growing up well ( in terms of entertainment value) but hardly and I repeat hardly the sharpest pencil in the box. Undeniably, I have enough of teachers telling me that oh, he should be writing now and blah blah blah and I wished I could have the patience or discipline to start this routine of writing with him... gosh I think I am such a lousy mother because I am going to go into the school of thought that hey, i mean they will write sooner or later right? I mean right? Sigh, but this boy of mine just am not interested in doing anything academic! He does not like to write, he does not like to draw, he does not like to colour. He just enjoys doing things like running around, pretending to be a dinosaur and being read to ( note: not reading by himself but being read to). I seriously dunno what to do with him ( not that I am doing anything much) and looking at the students profile I am handling , I can only pray ( which I am btw, if you have read the above, not doing a great job at that too) that he don't end up where I teach.
Having said that, Maoster continues to come up with the most hilarious conversations and thoughts and continued to be kind and nice and gentle.

I have been swarmed with work and somehow I am still surviving ( minus the exam setting nightmare but that would be a story too long to say and I will keep it for retirement when I am free and old). I am still enjoying my students and I continue to be amused and tickled and touched and aspired by them. I am doing well, I guess but then of course my director who is prim and proper doesn't get quite tickled by my jokes and styles but I think I am at a stage whereby, Heck lah, I just want to do my job well and be happy and not think of what my director thinks or whatever carrots/promotions she might be cancelling my name on. I mean, I know its tough when I work and not get recognition but hey, I am having fun with my colleagues and if they say I am good, I am good then. And at the end of the day, I hope my God says I am good. Clowns can be good too okay. We work.

I finished my virgin 10km run and I am happy with what I've done. No fats were destroyed at the process and no kgs were shed. But, whatever, I think I look great size 0 or size 12. And there's a research that says size 12 people are the happiest - I think so/hope so. Sorry if you are a size 0, there might be another research about you perhaps living longer.

My oven is still empty - I mean some days I will be cursing and swearing about it and sometimes I am seriously okay about it. I don't know my take about my oven but then, that's my oven and if it's not cooking then I think I could use it for some other storage purposes. I probably should take it for a repair and hopefully it comes with warranty. I really should have sex more often. Seriously I am pulling down the average numbers but hey my love for my husband goes beyond that - ha ha ha, he obviously don't think so.

Aung continues to be a sweet loving man. Always patient, always kind, always loving. He still says the funniest things and does the funniest moves and dance the funniest sway I have ever seen.

I thank God for this year and I pray that I'll witness God's works and miraculous blessings in the year to come.

I'll pray for you too.

It's a bunny year ahead!

满有能力！

Maoster: Let's play "I bury you into a tomb "game.

Daddy: Huh? Why?

Maoster: It's okay, just a game. Bury you in a tomb and cover you.

Daddy: I don't want!

Maoster: It's OKAY! JESUS DID IT ALSO! Really!!!!

Do we lead a life that is 满有能力? More often, I live my life fearing for so many things and I forgot my Jesus did it!

One of my favourite milestone- Maoster can bathe by himself rather well now!

Questioning God

Godma is interested to know how God is in the mind of the very young. So she asked Mao a few question.
Godma: Who is God?
Maoster: Jesus die on the cross for me and you. He is alive.
Godma: Is God nice?
Maoster: Yes.
Godma: So how do you talk to God? You pray?
Maoster: Yes. I pray, God gives me toys and books.
Godma rather happy with the answers and was thinking about what question when Maoster decided to do the questioning instead.
Maoster: Now, can I ask a question?
Maoster (eyes big big): Where did God have the money to buy toys and books?????
My boy can now join Godma in her theological discussion now. Yeah - he can replace me now!

Maoster's Reminders

in the car on the way back home today.

Out of the blue he said to us: JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOU, ME AND DADDY! And GAN MA too!

I said oh yes, he did!

And he said, JESUS IS ALIVE YOU KNOW?

As Christians, GOOD FRIDAY and EASTER SUNDAY are important dates in our christian faith. Without the cruxification, our sins will not be cleansed nor will we be reconciled with God. Without the resurrection of Christ, we will not have the hope of eternal life as God has triumphed over death.

Thank you Maoster for shouting out loud! These are great reminders of my salvation and hope :)

Was your Christmas stolen?

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling:" How could it be so?
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas.... perhaps ... means a little bit more!"
Taken from" How the Grinch Stole christmas!" By Dr Suess

Indeed Christmas holds a far deeper, far stronger, far more significant meaning than the gifts we exchanged, the feasts we have been indulging and the shopping we have been chiong-ing.
For on Christmas, a miracle happened. A child born out of a virgin on a shabby manger. A child that promises hope to all who believes and the gift of life He brings.

Have the true meaning of Christmas touched your heart this season? I pray that you do.
Blessed Christmas.... don't let Grinch steal your Christmas for you know, he can't. :)

SOP- HOME VERSION

I thought he would protest cos I inserted this new DVD in replacement of his Madagascar DVD.

I thought I would hear him yell, not this one Mummy!

He went to grab his drums.

He went on to hum a melody.

He went on to put his hands in the air shouting Hallelujah when the worship leader do it.

He ended it with a big A-men.

I only pray that the music of our Lord, remains in his heart and grows old with him as a new song each day in his life.

Overflowing....

with gratefulness.
I knew I was doing the right thing by closing down my office and selling whatever that I can and talking to buyers. It was a decision struggled for the longest time.... it was a decision done not only looking at the numbers driven and the coming economy environment, although I state the this as a reason to all people who bothers to ask as that was easier to explain.

I knew it was a God pleasing decision although along the way, it was tough to navigate it here and there but through prayers I got to the destination.

I asked God for 3 things:

1. To land me into a new job with ease.
Indeed God was good. I got into a lecturing position, attaching myself to the business studies dept. Many raised eyebrows and had looks that says: Are you going into teaching becos of desperation or the poor economic outlook as the last resort or oh teaching, hmmmmmm its better for your family I guess. However, deep inside me, I knew I had applied for it becos it combines my passion for business and youth. However, passion or calling or whatso, as Gee clearly states and I clearly understood, can only be confirmed after I commenced lecturing work staring at youths who yeah may not care a heck about ME or the studies. So let's just see how it will turned out... but for now, I am yes, very grateful and excited.

2. A trip to Canada
To visit my best pal. Trust me even now as I am typing this I am suffering from this great pangs of guilt for leaving both my men behind to cope and crazy Mao separation anxiety possibilities. I have enough of people asking me, Huh? Maoster how? And those looks that brand me as, oh look at that irresponsible mother running away having fun all by herself! But despite all that, the air ticket is in my bag- I will be away 15th April to 28th April. I hope I don't have jetleg becos on 29th I have a wedding rehearsal, 30th I have a musical to attend and 1st and 2nd I have weddings and 4th of May I am starting work.
If the institute had needed me to start work way earlier, I wouldn't have made it.

3. A baby ( a healthy one but greedily a pinkie if possible)
We lost our 2nd baby and I knew how much Jon wants a 2nd baby. So much that he says hey actually 2 boys are so great ( cos he knows I am crazy about boys) indicating that give me one more, whatever the gender.
So we have agreed that we will try for a baby projectBB2 version 2.1 Oct onwards. We are keeping faith that this new one will survive and be a full term baby.

God doesn't always gives one what you asked for all the time, if HE does, then I am worried for my limited intelligence would be asking for the WORLD and ruining my own life and forgetting that He is God and not me. But when God answers my prayers, I am truly, unimaginably grateful.

However, I am also challenged now that when I am truly Blessed, how can I pass it on. Passing it on in my ministry, in the community and to the broken. I am working out actually on a Aung family 2009 commitments and dedication thingy and a do-able trackable calendar to make sure we stay on it.

No Fear of Losing...

I was talking to HL on MSN today.

We were talking about how a March to be mom had given birth to a 1.3kg baby and how that the mom had to suffer without epidural becos of the fear of harming the too soon to come baby and that air con has to be off so that the tempreture of the baby will not drop too much after deliver... where all should be done congratulating the mom for her safe delivery despite the dram and trauma, all I can say is I am so scared that I actually feel like puking....

Honestly I hate to be pregnant. I hate this vulnerability... this possible of losing what is to come and having no control and yet whole world congratulating u all the way through.... I totally went into a state of wreck when I realised I am to deliver Maoster at week 35 0 days where I started seeing blood. With my miscarriage of my 2nd baby, it only makes my fear and phobia of being pregnant even larger and bigger to the point of puking!

If we have no fear of losing, then we will not be fearful. That's what HL said ( bravely after her first miscarriage and now her last leg of the race with her baby boy to be due in mid march)... NO FEAR OF LOSING.... As much as I have fully got over my miscarriage I really still have that lingering fear of going through it again... and what if a stillborn, what if its unhealthy... and so though there's a Jayla 2009 project, I am so not willing to embark on it....

And I realised it applies to many facets of life....

If we have no fear of losing and understanding that all is in God's hands and permission, we shouldn't be too stressed about the downturn in economy as our Father in Heaven will provide abundently... If we have no fear of losing, we will not be too wary about how our children are doing in school and in achieving academics, if we have no fear of losing, we will be better neighbour, a better friend, a better sibling, a better colleague....

I hope that I will lead a "no fear of losing" life because I know my provider is God and that my life and all is existence belongs to God. It is a positive outlook of life and not one of "resigned to fate" attitude... its a journey with God of Hope, Faith and Love...

The road ahead is long..... let us all pray....